Happy 4th of July!!
While you’re celebrating our country’s independence and partying with family and friends, why not celebrate your friendships, as well?
Sorry, Guys, this post may not hold your attention, but it will make you wish you were a woman!… On second thought, maybe you guys should read this in order to understand the dynamics of GIRLFRIENDS.
The general consensus that men don’t talk about their feelings is just wrong, in my opinion. When I was single, I had several male friends who used to call me mainly to discuss their feelings. Any man who has an ounce of sensitivity has a need to talk about his feelings occasionally. They can’t talk to other men about them, that wouldn’t be manly! So, they talk to female friends, because it’s safe. Bottom line…all women, as well as single men, need girlfriends.
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
Being understood, accepted and loved exactly as we are is one of the greatest rewards of friendship.
But the ultimate reward was discovered in a Nurse’s Health Study from Harvard Medical School. It was found that the more friends women have, the less likely they are to develop medical problems as they age, and the more likely they are to live joyfully long lives.
Since women create the chemical, Oxytocin, which encourages nurturing and seeking comfort, studies show that having close girlfriends and confidants keeps us healthy and adds years to our lives. (It’s probably just as healthy for you guys.) This is yet another way to grow younger and healthier instead of growing unhealthy and decaying.
Anyone, man or woman, who has a close friendship with another woman, doesn’t need me to tell you how important that friendship is to your life and well-being. I can tell you though, that there are few ways to help that friendship last forever.
**Check criticism at the door. There is no room for that in a friendship.
**Leave envy and jealousy at home, too. Not only are those unattractive modes of behavior, they will chip away at the foundation of your relationship. Jealousy is a sign that you’re not feeling so lovable. We’ll talk about how to change that in a post next week.
**Never berate a friend’s spouse or children. It’s okay for a friend to vent about her family member, but no one else should join in. Just be supportive and a good listener, unless your friend is in danger of being physically harmed by the family member.
**Listen. Listening is the most powerful way to connect with people. Don’t offer advice. Wait to be asked.
**Don’t judge. No one has a right to judge another. Allow your friend to grow and change with your support.
**Celebrate your friendship. You can do that by simply telling your girlfriend how important she is in your life. At the other extreme, you can plan a “girlfriend getaway”. Depending on your common interests and your life situation, you may choose from a healing spa vacation, a no-holds-barred birthday blast, an adventurous escape, or a shopping splurge.
To heck with diamonds! Other girls are a girl’s best friend! Since There is No Such Thing As Too Many Girlfriends, get out there and make new ones! We’ll talk about how to connect and find more healthy relationships next week.
We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.
- Letty Cottin Pogrebin
To each of my current and future girlfriends :
You are each the best part of my life. I treasure our friendship and will always be as good to you as you are to me.
I love hearing from you! Tell me, what is the best thing about girlfriends for you?
Don’t forget to hop on over to the Life List Club for Lara Schiffbauer’s patriotic 4th of July post!